What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
