The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
