I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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