real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
love makes seman taste better
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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