another moral hangover. fuck.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
