rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
