stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The air was thick with penises
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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