I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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