just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
