Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
