I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
