Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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