good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Randomize
