CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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