you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
