Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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