After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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