Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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