You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
