So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i think i just lost a toe
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