But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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