I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Don't make out with my wife yet
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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