either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
