at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
