There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize