I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
