nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
