i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
where am i from again
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
