K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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