I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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