I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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