Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize