from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
