I cockslap morals
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
