found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize