dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
