I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
