susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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