Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
