Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize