no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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