God, you're like boner-b-gone
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
