i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize