We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
