You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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