The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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