ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
