Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
