It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm both gender and math confused
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
