Only a mothe r could love this liver
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize