YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
