with your own penis?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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