I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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