Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
