Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
