the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
