Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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