Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
