its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
