I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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