Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
