Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
