Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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