she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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