I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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