I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she told me i tasted like america
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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